Humble Gratisfaction: The Going Gets Rough... (Updated October 13, 2024)

Initially created in late 2015, despite how dated and lacklustre this image appears,
it was an essential step in the progress of Shhhh! Digital Media!


So I spent most of the day working in Unreal Engine today (for real and that's the truth).


Gratitude

Given my recent griping, I thought I'd post this, especially given the fact that in Canada, Thanksgiving Day is right around the corner, and it humbles us to remember how much we truly have. Remember from where you came to be where you are. Hopefully that is in the direction of growth.

You know what upsets me from my occasional griping rants, so what am I grateful for?

I'm grateful for the recent successes I achieved from years of dedication and hard work on my brand, my content and most certainly, my stories and the added tools that success allowed me to add to my toolbox as well.


Mentors

I'm grateful for years of life mentors, both near and far (online and offline), whose lessons from decades or days ago often come full circle during a moment of epiphany or failure (my own), and I remember those people and what they were trying to teach me, both family, friends, professional peers and others, though I also am grateful that I've grown enough to be capable of reciprocating such a valuable gift amidst a sea of people who do not want me to be myself.


My Readers

The things that I'm most grateful for are my readers, and for the fact that I've thus far in life had many great experiences and times with people who are mostly long gone now, either in their own corner of the world, or on to their next life. I miss them greatly and some of the adventurous and wacky times we had as creative (and adventurous) people.

Its funny how often I think and wish that I could be in an office with those same people, having them available to work with on Shhhh! Digital Media related projects or being available to work on theirs in a variety of different mediums. All the amazingly creative and talented people I knew and had the chance to work with, and occasionally have the good graces to see how far their efforts have come. Their imprint, lasting and left upon us, memories.


My Experiences With Family And Friends

I've seen some pretty wild things in my life, and missed out on some too. I still want to get my jump wings (skydiving) and eventually will, like my brothers in arms. I've literally ridden thousands of kilometers on bicycle trips throughout Ontario when I was younger, camping along my route or with friends up north, too many times to recall. I've had eye to eye encounters by myself in the wild with small bears, big bears and even BIGGER bears, moose, deer, eagles, hawks and a lot of different wildlife despite the fact that I never set out to have those experiences at all. They just happened along the way and I'm fortunate enough never to have been attacked by wildlife. Please, if you venture into the wild, respect it and stay cautiously shy of it. You'd be wary if someone you didn't know suddenly walked through the door and into your home.

I've been in flights during storms, including one flight where the plane flew just above the most incredibly huge storm cell I've ever seen in my life. Lightning constantly jumping from one cloud to another in the dark dome that encompassed this behemoth, the plane literally shaking violently for about forty-five minutes. Seeing that from the window of the plane was an incredible sight and living it was an incredible thrill. It was pretty standard fare to my inspiringly adventurous ex-girlfriend from that time, and I often think back and wonder if the crew and pilot of that flight just regarded that storm as another day in the office. When you've been on a plane that suddenly drops a three hundred feet in an instant and then quickly recovers, shaking so much that you're convinced that its going to fall apart, that's being alive. The next step for me is jumping out of that perfectly good plane (presumably with a parachute).

I've cared for and ridden horses atop of the Rocky Mountains, and many places in Ontario during my life, both bareback and saddled. Consequently, I've also fallen from them just as many times despite my experiences (and training from the real life version of a female Lara Croft). I had already ridden numerous times when I received that training, but I have to tell you that I am so grateful for what that wonderful woman taught us. Her lessons are in many places throughout A Lady's Prerogative II: Wounded Aerth. Horses are wonderful friends to have, but don't ever get on one's bad side, especially if you're depending upon them for a ride. They are keen judges of character and have a remarkly developed sense of humour (my tail bone still hurts every so often as a reminder of this fact having fallen from them a few times). I'm very grateful for those moments.

I remember riding with my ex-girlfriend through a valley in the Rockies, and coming upon a tremendous area (about 50 square meters), where the earth had been pulled open by what appeared to be a large dog or pack of dogs, given the pattern of dirt and the depth of the hole. It was enormous. We later found out that it wasn't a dog, or a pack of wild dogs, but a single grizzly bear that had opened up the den of a family of gophers for food. One grizzly bear moved about three or four tonnes of dirt to get his (or her) dinner. I'm grateful for those experiences too.


The Places I've Been And Those I Want To See

I've seen many great things throughout Canada and the northern states of America, and that's coming from someone whom thanks to his family, and at least one of his more adventurous ex-girlfriends, got to see most of this entire country in ways few people have. I'm never absent of memories of those times. I'm grateful for every one of those experiences. Traveling across Canada and the United States is one of the most incredible and inspiring things you can do in your life in North America. Something I'd love to do in Europe, Asia and Oceania too, or visit some of the great sites in South America, or get an authentic spiritual cleansing in the incredible scenic country of Ecuador.


My Experiences With The Military And Veterans

I'm grateful for my experiences in the militia as well, despite how short my time and training was there, which there's not much to tell, though its really funny how t-flashes and arty-sims can make for a very interesting day. Especially when you least expect them. T-flashes are training devices very similar to flashbangs, often used in urban training (house clearing) while arty-sims are somewhat more... of an experience. Designed to let you know what its like to be under attack by an indirect fire battery such as an 80mm (mortar) or field artillery. I'm grateful for those experiences, even the time(s) I was dressed down by the Warrant Officer (the Canadian equivalent of Drill Sargeant). A short time in all, but enough to let me know and respect what these incredible people, as a hard earned team, accomplish. 

The only way I could ever hope to honour them would be to get my jump wings. The achievement that some of my best friends and mentors achieved early on in life, and not the ones you necessarily know. 

I'm grateful for them as much so as I'm grateful for yartsuls and the other guy who told me: "every new day you have is a gift. Enjoy, because nobody's f#cked it up yet". Honestly, if you've never been, you have to go to yartsuls. They're great!

Some of those I've known have fought in WWII. In the Korean War. In Afghanistan. In Iraq. For us to be here and discussing these ideas so freely, has a cost associated with it that is and has been protected by our veterans.

These are some of the people who've inspired the characters that you read, when I write We Who Stand On Guard, especially Bradley Alexander Stanton, Tricia Camden, William Halmand, Linda Delmore and more recently, Wesley Donahue and Dina Shelhevet. I've had the privilege of knowing some very inspiring representatives of Canada's peace effort, including our peace keepers as well.

The world in which we live and all of the benefits thereof were only possible by the dedication and sacrifice of such souls whose motivation and courage is beyond measure and in reality. There are real life heroes whose efforts often go unsung. That's the importance of writing and stories that celebrate these people, as a proxy and without getting into the details of who they are specifically. They know, but it always is meaningful to know that people notice and appreciate what such courage and dedication have brought to our world.


Gratitude For The Arts Games, Simulation And Play

As much so as I've lived some pretty wild experiences, I've also had many wild virtual experiences thanks to technology, and its amazing what an incredible artform that medium of storytelling has become. You know, keeping your brain active during your waking hours is healthy and doing so with things that engage your mind, such as puzzles and games, especially video games (after a day's effort and work) is a very good way to maintain your brain's health, and even more so if you balance it with a reasonable amount of physical activity each day. You'll know how much that is for yourself as much as you'll know when you haven't done enough. I'm grateful that I had the chance to see that industry grow from very humble beginnings into the incredible medium of interactive storytelling and art that it has become.


Grateful For My Memories

No matter what, I still have those memories to keep me company, and certainly some incredible moments in my life, with the women I've truly loved and who knew what love is. Rare gems indeed, and I never remember someone else's memories. I might write stories where that sort of thing happens, but I myself only recall things that happened in my life, and I draw upon those experiences, and the people who were part and parcel to them.


Grateful For Hard Earned Experience And Advice

No matter how abusive or malicious people get, every single moment has the potential to become something great in your life. A chance meeting can turn into marriage down the road. It can turn into a career. It can turn into an adventure or life changing decision.

Its alright to be upset with your situation, but don't give anyone who hasn't earned it, any of your hard earned bias, either for or against.

To some people, if they can make you hate them more than you love someone else, they've won. They have your bias more than you bias someone you truly care about. That's the war they're fighting, but be ready for their tactics to change overnight just in case.

Disagreement isn't bias nor is cutting someone off who mistreats you, whether that be one person, or an entire group of people. Either way, chances are, its their loss if they've nothing of value they bring to your life and you're confident of the potential good you had to bring to theirs, but never show them any bias. Only share that with the people who've earned it, and never in reaction.

People who don't regard you as having your own mind, or being an individual, aren't worth their breath, but may be worth your breath in setting your boundaries with regard to such people. The only reason they pay so much attention to you, is because you've got something that they don't. If they had it, they'd likely treat you with fairness and civility, like everyone else.


Grateful For A Sense Of Direction: A Compass

Collectives can be abusive, and the worst of them will often attempt to alter your perception of your own situation. Like creating an illusion based upon ideas that have no bearing in your life. Maybe even using colour symbolism and illusion to trick you into creating the bars of your own social cage (as I hinted at in one episode recently of The Butterfly Dragon). Once your mind cuts through that illusion, you'll see those people for who they really are, but don't give them your bias either for or against, and doing so isn't forgiving them. Its just retaining what rightfully belongs to you. The issues they impose upon you are theirs alone. Until they deal with them, I'd highly recommend setting your own standards and living by them. Not theirs. Yours and the standards of rights and freedoms protected by your country. If that protection is lacking, then make every effort to shore up that difference, because that is the very foundation upon which all of this is built.


Be Grateful For Your Asprirations Of Fantasy 

Choose the illusions that help you to grow, or live a reality of growth much the same. People who use their illusion to traumatize others in such a horrible way are a discredit to what it is to truly be creative. 

Once you've liberated yourself from that, learn from it and remember that there are people and groups of people out there in the world just like you, hanging on to that dream, and putting in the effort towards as much. Islands in the storm. Don't beat yourself up too much because you needed to vent, but don't allow that to turn you into a horrible person either. Recognize when it the problems are the result of your own misgivings, and put yourself back on course.



I'm truly grateful, but we live in a world where expressing that gratitude has become a liability unfortunately.

At some point, that social architecture that overwhelmed us at the turn of the millennium will collapse and something much more prolific and inspiring will replace it. When it does, that too will work for a while but it too will eventually fall only to be replaced by something else. During that time is when we live our lives amidst these social phenomenon. That is exactly what progress is, and the only constant there is in life is change until the heat death of the universe 10^100 years from now. We have a bit of time before that happens, so use it.

What makes the ground stable beneath our feet, is what we are willing to protect, either by being active in society, with our representatives and by speaking about what progresses or limits us.

I'm grateful for many things, no matter how many times the rough gets going, but you know eventually the going are going to get rough, and the scoreboard will look a bit more like:

THE BIG GAME FINAL SCORE

ROUGH: 01                 GOING: 02

I have more stuff to do in Unreal Engine, so I'm going to be working on that for a bit tonight and then either watching a movie (which I will post to the watch party list) or playing.

Who knows what tomorrow may bring. I may write something. I may not. I am however committed to my stories and to my compass.

May every one of you celebrating Thanksgiving, either now in October, or a few weeks from now in November, may it truly be a great experience for you all, especially those of us who are essentially islands in the storm. 

Enjoy this thanksgiving no matter what you believe. We all have a right to our different beliefs and its that difference that truly makes diversity and challenges us to consider other perspectives.

Remember, these are challenges that every single one of our veterans has faced, representing all that we stand for, though when it all comes down, they're the ones who truly pay that price for us all. Its only when you have to risk all for something that you truly learn to appreciate its value and merit. Our Veterans are the best representatives for this idea, and the best reason to remember to find your way to being grateful, when you're overwhelmed by the challenges of life.


I am Brian Joseph Johns and this is Shhhh! Digital Media at https://www.shhhhdigital.com or https://www.shhhhdigital.ca in Toronto, Ontario, Canada at 200 Sherbourne Street Suite 701.


Oh. And I'm very grateful for this smart feller, who is also a fart smeller ;-)


Oh, and Crystals Are Forever ;-)

This content is entirely produced in Toronto, Ontario, Canada at 200 Sherbourne Street Suite 701 under the Shhhh! Digital Media banner.